moy
I know they're people, kate!
Posts: 21,265
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Post by moy on Jan 30, 2010 18:19:19 GMT -5
ie; texts from last night, lamebook, my life is average, fmylife, not always right, bash... whatevs.
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(I coach an Advanced Recreational group of kids aged 11-14. I’m spotting one of the boys on the high bar when his arm slips and he elbows me in the face.)
Me: “Thanks. Please try not to do that again.”
Child: “Sorry!” *laughs*
(He tries it again, and elbows me in the face again. This time, my lip is bleeding so I go over to the door to spit the blood out of my mouth into the garbage. As I’m doing this, one of the dads that is watching from the lobby runs in.)
Dad: “That was freakin’ amazing!”
Me: “What was?”
Dad: “From the lobby, it looked like he elbowed you in the face, you thanked him and asked him for another. Then you came and spat your blood into the garbage as a show of dominance over the rest of them. FRICKIN’ AWESOME!” *high fives me*
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moy
I know they're people, kate!
Posts: 21,265
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Post by moy on Jan 30, 2010 21:02:40 GMT -5
this
(While working at a gelato shop in Rome, a tourist approaches me.)
Customer: “Excuse me, miss! I’d like a pizza!”
Me: “We don’t sell pizza here. This is a gelato shop.”
Customer: “What are you talking about? This is Italy! Don’t you have pizza in Italy?”
Me: “Yes, we have pizza in Italy, but this is not a pizzeria, so we don’t sell pizza. There are pizzerias, though, if you look.”
Customer: “So this is Italy?”
Me: “Correct.”
Customer: “And this is a restaurant.”
Me: “Sort of, though we only sell the ice cream.”
Customer: “But this is ITALY.”
(After a few minutes of getting nowhere, my coworker attempts to help.)
Coworker: *jokingly* “Ma’am, if you want pizza, I can get you some for 100 euros.”
(100 euros is about $150 USD. Without hesitation, the customer pulls out two 50s and hands them to my coworker.)
Co-worker: *hands the tourist the money back* “It’s okay, ma’am. Let me direct you to a nearby pizzeria…”
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moy
I know they're people, kate!
Posts: 21,265
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Post by moy on Feb 1, 2010 9:32:07 GMT -5
(580): the snow is so cold on my vagina.
(405): why do you have snow on your vagina?
(580): vodka and heels.
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moy
I know they're people, kate!
Posts: 21,265
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Post by moy on Feb 1, 2010 9:51:46 GMT -5
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moy
I know they're people, kate!
Posts: 21,265
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Post by moy on Feb 1, 2010 10:30:03 GMT -5
Today I was at the grocery store when I overheard a mother say to her young son "now sweetheart, why should we be quite in church?" His response? "Because people are sleeping?". She couldn't help but laugh a little. Neither could I. MLIA.
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moy
I know they're people, kate!
Posts: 21,265
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Post by moy on Feb 1, 2010 14:42:12 GMT -5
(616): You are an ass hole (574): haha sleeping beauty awakes. (616): Where did you find this costume?
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moy
I know they're people, kate!
Posts: 21,265
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Post by moy on Feb 6, 2010 12:02:21 GMT -5
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FU.CK
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Post by irishpatsy on Feb 6, 2010 15:39:40 GMT -5
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Post by irishpatsy on Feb 6, 2010 15:46:42 GMT -5
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brandhi
a brandy that rox
Posts: 2,412
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Post by brandhi on Feb 6, 2010 18:07:20 GMT -5
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